The New Old Idea

Every time I go out with friends I haven’t seen in a while, they ask, “What are you working on? You’re still writing, right?” Yes, yes. I always feel a little gut punch, like I’m disappointing people with my lack of production. I have magazine pieces come out with a fair amount of frequency, and I try to blog as much as I can, but what they really mean is, “When is that next book coming out?” Ooof. I wish I could say that I could publish one a year and be like some of their favorite prolific authors. And I might get there someday. But my process is sometimes a little….slower. Plus I love my other gig as an independent college counselor, where I get to review and brainstorm the writings of others (super creative and fun!). So, yes, I’m writing all the time, even if you don’t see something new regularly at your local bookstore. I promise they are coming.

Recently, amidst some writer’s block, I was chatting with a teenager who was talking about all the good, creative ideas they had as little kids, and how sometimes they feel like they can’t think of anything creative currently. I’ve been mulling over that statement ever since. I remember being a kid and going outside and making up whole stories and scenes with my friends right on the spot. No problem. We embodied the characters for hours until it was time to head in for dinner. I watched my own kids create whole scenarios out of random Legos, where the storyline would last for days, until the dog accidently came in and crashed through the buildings. Why did it seem so easy when we’re younger to be creative? Is it because we didn’t feel any societal constraints? Is it because we only had our imagination and not many other outside factors to consider? Was it just the extra time available before obligations set in? Probably a little of all of these things.

So, I started thinking about my childhood, my teens, my college years, even my twenties before I had kids. I kept journals and notebooks where I would randomly jot down dreams, or weird ideas. By looking back, I’ve discovered some concepts I can use to move forward! Eureka moment! The very first book I wrote, a solid 90,000 work tome, never saw the light of day. When I wrote it, I was getting my bearings as a writer. I hadn’t found my voice. It turned out to be an unpublishable literary exercise. I learned ALL about rejection. At the time, the letters often came in physical forms in my mailbox. “Not for us.” It was brutal, but also wonderful because I developed a thick skin and took any feedback they might provide to make my next work better. I decided to try to locate the manuscript. I found a printed paper brick version I could use as a doorstop, but there are more effective ways to work than taking a red pen to it in this day and age. It took a minute to even remember how it was saved on my computer, but I eventually found the file and did a short skim. It turns out that the writing is indeed rough but the idea has merit. I’m inspired! I might be able to work with this and create something good out of the slush.

We will see. Will I turn my first failed writing into the next great American Novel? Only time will tell. I’m up for the challenge. This time around will be a literary AND extreme editing exercise. But it’s good to know that I’m not all out of ideas. With this, plus another book I’m working on, more publishing is definitely on the horizon.