The Anxious Mom
I love to talk about the books I read. Sometimes I find one that resonates for so many reasons and I can’t stop thinking about it. For example, I just finished The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. As an anxious person who has written multiple books dealing with the topic of anxiety (and at one time had a whole blog and website dedicated to it!), I felt like it might be a good idea to read about the causes of anxiety for my children.
What I discovered in this eye-opening book, is that the obvious correlation between phone culture and social media use and mental health applies not only to the Gen Z kiddos, but might be the reason I’m wide awake at 4 am. For all those Gen X parents out there who are raising Gen Z kids, this is a must read. Much of it is stuff we really already know, but for some reason, reading it and seeing the graphs, it all kind of hit home a little harder.
Even if you don’t have kids, it’s an interesting perspective on the problems that phone culture, constant news, social media trolls, and constant peer comparison can have on any individual. I’m 49 and often find that I’ve lost an entire hour (or more!) doom scrolling through news sites. My mood suffers. I feel exhausted. I am unmotivated for long periods of time after I’ve been on my phone. Again, this is something I am aware of, yet I can’t seem to stop. For some reason, reading this book kind of woke me up a little bit. Something had to change. I thrive when I feel more cheerful. So, I’ve started a new pattern.
When I wake up…no news for me! Instead, yes, I grab my phone, but only to play my New York Times games. Gotta keep that brain active! Once I have amazed myself with getting Connections using no lives (ok fine, it’s not like that every single day), I get out of bed and go about my day. No news until lunch and just the once. No phone scrolling except during this time, as well. At night if I look at my phone before bed, I am only looking at animal videos to bring me joy. You know what I discovered? I still can feel like a proper citizen of the world and know what’s going on without a full day of nausea! I have more time to read actual BOOKS (I never feel terrible when I do that). I have dedicated a part of each day to being creative, either through writing, painting, building something, or whatever. It doesn’t feel like wasted time. My energy level is up. I’m eating better! I guess because I don’t feel as depressed. It’s astonishing. I started this right after Christmas. Then I think, of course our kids are struggling. It takes A LOT of will power and I hope I can keep this up. I’ve been discussing it with my kids (one in college, and one in high school) and they, too, are seeing the value of putting the phone down a little more. It’s a work in progress but totally worth it!