The Explosive Heat

Something is wrong with my air popper. Perhaps it is the heat. All I know is that all was going fine, kernels popping like normal. But then, BAM, the top popped high up into the air and landed in the bowl, the popcorn went flying all over the room. My son ran up to it and waved his hands all over, trying to contain the projectile mess. It looked like a scene from Mr. Bean. 

The dogs took notice right away, which is why the mess doesn't look all that bad in this photo. The big yellow dog simply stood up with his paws on the edge and face lying sideways on the counter and sucked in, like a massive blond hoover. The dog doesn't even chew. He just swallows whole. I've seen him consume a block of cheese and a slice of pizza without even mashing down once. That can't be good for digestion.

Meanwhile, the little sausage dog had to accommodate for her lack of legginess and proceeded to jump into the air and contort herself into all kinds of positions and acrobatics in order to procure one piece of popcorn at a time. She was performing a Cirque de Soleil of dogs. It took all of my force to get through their performances to simply unplug the rogue device before it decided to catch fire.

Something's not right with that machine. I really do blame the heat. I know, heat is required for it to properly pop the kernels. But the sweltering, brain melting heat outside is not necessary. So I blame that. 

My son had a soccer game and everyone crowded around one little tiny baby tree with hardly any leaves on it, in hopes of some semblance of shade. It was rough. The car clocked in a lovely 103 degrees and it was humid. I brought ice water, but it turned warm sitting there. I love my kid and all. Of course. But do I love him enough to stand out there for an hour and a half to watch him run around a field and give himself heat exhaustion? I guess the answer is yes. I stayed. He stayed. When I stood up, it looked like I had been mastering the back stroke in a swimming pool.

We all went home and convalesced in front of a fan in our air-conditioned home. 

"How about some popcorn?" I think I just saw four dog ears perk up.