The Stink Bug Hysteria

See that nasty, large, brown blur on my screen? That's a stink bug and luckily that one is on the outside. I can't say the same for the approximately 500 that are on the inside of my house. First I fought the spiders. Now I'm fighting the stink bugs. Again. It's twice a year now. And I don't even live in the woods. 

Last year, my husband pretty much said "pish posh" or "just deal with it" when I complained about the infestation. 

"They aren't going to hurt you," he said. That is so totally NOT the point. On more than one occasion, one landed on me while I was trying to sleep. That is not acceptable.

But, oh, how the times have changed. I returned home from a book festival this weekend to a harried husband at his wits end. 

"You need to vacuum them up. I closed them off in the bathroom, but there are at least 50 just in there. All over the place." His eyes were wide. He claimed he had to work, and therefore couldn't vacuum them himself. Hmph. Convenient. Fine. I will take this for the team. I've conquered them before. 

Their strength, and thick, hard bodies, are particularly mighty. As I stood precariously on the edge of our large tub, I could tell they thought they had me. I had to change the vacuum filter as they seemed to easily escape. But once I did that...schloop! The vacuum took care of business, one nasty bug at a time. 

The only problem was, well there were a couple:

1) They all released their stink. It seemed collectively. I don't know if they could tell from the noise that their time was almost up. Either way, they wanted to make me suffer. As I had shut myself in with them, so as not to allow any out into other rooms, I was nasally penalized.

2) It was HOT. We have turned the air off for fall (a little too early, if you ask me, since we are still reaching 80's). I was climbing, straining and vacuuming for long periods of time, in a tiny room, all adrenaline-junkied up in my quest for ultimate capture.

3) They might be smarter than I give them credit for. Some were hiding in the honeycomb compartments of the bathroom shades. I could see their light-filtered silhouettes. They mocked me.

I now understand it is an ongoing battle. There are many left in the house. I will suck them up whenever possible. I will grab them and flush them down the toilet. I will try not to gag from their stench. Why don't my monster spiders trap and eat them? My critters need to work with me a little, here.