The Metal Head

I've now discovered my new least favorite activity: applying ointment to my husband's head staples. 

So, my husband decided to work out at his office gym at the end of his work day two days ago. The locker door was open and the lower lip of the locker was exposed. He leaned down to his gym bag and as he lifted up his head, he gouged a deep groove into his scalp. Oh mercy.

Despite the fact that it continued to bleed and he had to take a towel and hold it to his head as he drove, he decided to drive over an hour home to get my opinion on whether he needed to go in for stitches. This would not have been my course of action.

He arrived home, where I was holding a meeting with another Girl Scout leader. 

"Babe, can you come upstairs for a second?" He sounded calm, yet serious.

Weird. Something was up. I excused myself and followed him upstairs.

"Can you take a look at my head wound and tell me if I need to go to the ER?"

My eyes quickly darted up to his head where a largish patch of hair was caked with blood. I gasped. I grabbed a tissue and placed it to his head. The tissue soaked up blood quickly. I almost lost consciousness and wondered how he had kept his AND drove home. My voice lowered and slowed.

"Um, yes, I think I need to take you in."

"No, I don't want to drag the kids to the ER. You stay here. I've already driven this long."

I soon got a text that he was receiving staples in his head. Awesome. I envisioned something like my stapler shown here. He said I was not far off, but assured me that no staples went straight into his head. The children are suitably skeeved out. My daughter doesn't want to get too close. She's had a head wound and probably worries that the staples are contagious. Luckily, my husband's hair is thick enough, that if you look closely, you can only see a glint of the silver staples. 

He just requires me to put the medicated ointment on it. I almost pass out every time. I do it, because I'm a good wife, but I almost pass out, because I'm not a good nurse.

Now, I have to help him remember not to scratch the staples as it starts its healing itch. We are now wondering if the staple remover looks like the one we use on our papers. Wouldn't that be sweet?