The Weird Lady on Roller Skates

That's me, by the way. I took a break from my 20-year roller skating hiatus to hit the rink this weekend with my sister and my kids. This falls under the category of, "What was I thinking?" They were thrilled, as they've never been roller skating. I was antsy, as all I could think about were crumbled, broken bones and run over fingers. My excitement waned further when we pulled up to the rink, a dilapidated flamingo-pink building, and saw the place was flat out mobbed. So many out-of-control skaters! And now I would add myself to that calamitous mix.

We got our sweet (and damp!) rental skates and my son, who is usually quite athletic, ventured quickly out onto the rink. He landed flat on his back in less than half a second. My daughter went down almost immediately behind him. After repeated attempts to get our feet under us, we succumbed to the peer pressure of more than half the other skaters and rented one of those balance walkers on wheels so the kids could get the hang of it. I never had the luxury of one of these when I was learning. But the PVC pipe device is actually quite helpful in just getting your head around the fact that your feet are inexplicably attached to clunky wheels. The view is hilarious, however, because the skating rink has lost it's style a little when you see everyone zooming around with walkers, like miniature geriatric patients in a retirement facility, who also happen to like speed. I opted to wing it without a walker and managed to continually go counter clockwise looking like Frankenstein with a French Twist, instead of head bolts.

I am proud to say that I didn't fall once, except on purpose during a sadistic game of "Wipe Out." What I learned from that game is that I'm too old to pretend fall on a hard surface. We all came away free of broken bones. My children loved it. And for a couple of hours, I was transported back to my childhood. There were even the older guys who have all the moves and weave in, out and around everyone smoothly with one hand on their hip; so casual. It was a bit strange, actually.